My Misadventures with Friend Dating

So ever since I got into uni I’ve been trying to make friends for the longest time however let’s just say that my experience doing so has been nothing but infuriating and sadly unsuccessful. When it comes to reasons why I haven’t had much success they’re three main factors …

1. Ghosting

This is a huge factor in why I still haven’t made friends yet. I would go to events, click with people I met there and then proceed to take their socials so obviously we can stay in touch. Then a couple of days after the event when I hit them up, to obviously to continue where we left off, I either get a reply weeks later (which by then I’ve moved on already) or no reply at all. And although I know no response is a response. It would’ve been better and waaay nicer for the person to tell me they were not interested in making new friends than ignoring my messages. As that hurts and is beyond rude.

2. Times Wasting

Another reason why I haven’t made new friends is that I’ve met too many people who have led me on and completely wasted my time. I have been in situations where again I’ve met people at events, and we clicked that much that we were able to continue talking days after we initially met. However when I wanted to take it to the next level and meet up in person. All of a sudden they would become flaky or cancel right before we were about to go out. It was at those instances where I ended things there because I knew a friendship wasn’t going to develop.

3. Incompatibility

The last reason why making friends has been difficult is because I quickly realised that many people I became friendly with were not my type. In other words, many people I met at uni were either those I didn’t have that much in common with, so we eventually drifted apart. Or were unapologetically bigoted people, so hanging out with them any further would’ve been a stressful and highly annoying experience.

Final Thoughts

Although friend dating, for the most part, has been upsetting, frustrating and emotionally taxing. Despite all of this I’m still going to continue my search in finding friends. As firstly, looking back at this happening, makes me realise I dodged some serious bullets. As there is nothing worse than making friends with people: who you have nothing in common with, are flaky or ghost you. NO THANK YOU! Secondly, not everyone is like the people I unfortunately encountered. They’re good, principled people out there who don’t act foolish! And finally, this experience has improved my ability to socialise as I feel more confident in communicating and getting to know people.

So yeah friend dating has been hard, but I know eventually I will find my squad.

Love Chizoba x