Yes, dearest, you read correctly! I took myself out on a solo date. Because I am extremely big on not wasting my time. And it’s not always fun waiting on people to experience something you want to do.
So my original plan was to take myself to minigolf and then have drinks afterwards on 11th June. However, the place that I went to said a minimum of two people. Sooooooooo I decided to do something different, as being a single Black woman in this England will not kill me. I left the place – which I won’t mention- and decided to go to a bar. There was one not far from the minigolf place, so that helped! I ordered my favourite cocktail – Pornstar Martini, and mulled over what I could do for the night.
Whilst scrolling on Instagram, I saw an advert for Yvonne Orji’s Comedy special. Which was going to happen in a couple of weeks. So I thought to myself – yep I am going to do this! As I loved her comedy special I saw via discord with my friend in the US. So I bought the ticket, finished my drink, and headed home.
On 25th June 2022, I woke up EXCITED! I had a lush breakfast, got showered and started getting ready. My outfit consisted of jeans, heels, and a cute top. This outfit needed to be (and was) a 10/10 as I was going on a date with myself!
I got to Bloomsbury Theatre early and got myself a glass of white wine for the nerves. I mean I have been to the theatre before. So I did wonder why I was nervous now that I was going on my own. You would think a girl like me, who at the drop of a hat will pay for a flight and leave the country to go somewhere completely new on her own. Wouldn’t get scared to go to a comedy by herself. However, this was different. I was stepping out of my comfort zone, in a completely new and fascinating way.
Moreover, I get anxious when I know I must deal with large crowds. And I generally handle this by simply not going or forcing my friend to come with me. But in this case, I had to deal with it.
I found my seat and sat down with my glass of wine. The opening act was Mr Roy Mack, who gave us a good 45-minute set! He had me laughing so hard I forgot I was on my own. I was interacting with the show and overall was having a great time! Then came the intermission before the main act – Miss Yvonne Orji herself. I went to the loo and re-upped my drink and snackage as I didn’t want to miss a second of her show.
Yvonne came out, and it was a belly-hurting 70 minutes of pure stand-up comedy. As much as it would have been great to be there with someone, this first date with myself was hilarious and fun. I enjoyed it so much that I decided to take myself out every month to enjoy a new experience.
Overall I hope this encourages you to try solo dating. As this is the perfect opportunity to treat yourself and make beautiful memories.
This post was written by Tillyah, click here to support her blog 😊
So after successfully dodging covid for two years. On Thursday 8th July 2022 I, unfortunately, caught it 🙃.
And overall, this experience was SHIT!
So there were several reasons why having covid was shit. Obviously, the main reason why it was terrible was that it negatively impacted my physical health. My symptoms included a headache, muscle aches and a high body temperature. Plus a runny nose with a mucus cough.
Though I was lucky to not have to deal with a headache and muscle aches for too long. Throughout my isolation period, I was constantly coughing and blowing my nose. Plus I ALWAYS. FELT. WARM. This was infuriating to go through as I couldn’t sleep properly resulting in me being tired AF. And it was hard to cool down as it’s literally summer. This was such an uncomfortable experience. I DON’T EVER want to endure this again.
Apart from me physically feeling horrendous. COVID-19 messed up my mental health and led me to have depressive episodes for several reasons. Firstly I was feeling really insecure about my appearance as I looked awful. I KNEW that I wouldn’t look my best because I legit had covid. But there is something shitty about looking terrible due to poor health. As in my case, it personally felt like a constant reminder of how bad things were.
Secondly having covid meant I had to cancel my plans. One of which included seeing my favourite artist live at a concert. To this day, I’m still not over this. Because you can’t just rebook a concert. And it’s not guaranteed my favourite artist will come back to the country I live in again. And that really sucks because the pandemic has already taken so much from me. And now it’s robbed me of an experience I won’t get again.
Moreover, having to isolate yourself in your room for 10 days is a very lonely and boring experience. And it hurts, even more, to isolate during the summer. Because while everyone is having fun in the gorgeous whether you are stuck indoors.
And even though I had entertainment to keep me somewhat amused. It still DID NOT and DOES NOT compare to being outside with friends and making memories. And most importantly, reclaiming back the lost time from 2020 and 2021.
So I am now covid free which is a good thing. And luckily I have not had to deal with any nasty long covid symptoms (yet because who knows what could happen).
But with that being said, to be honest, this experience has really shaken me up. I feel anxious about socialising. Plus I do not look forward to it anymore because I am scared of getting covid again. And that is such a shame because before this mess there was soo many things I really wanted to do.
Though I never thought the pandemic was over, testing positive for covid did give me a nasty reality check. It reminded me to move with more caution when going to work and seeing friends. As, unfortunately, covid is literally everywhere.
I adore floral jumpsuits (especially the ones I own). And in my opinion, they are a summer staple for several reasons.
The main reason why I think so is that they’re easy to style! Just like summer dresses, they’re a one-piece. So you would only need shoes, accessories and maybe a jacket to complete the outfit. But with that being said, as it’s the summer, the jacket probably would be unnecessary in the heat.
Secondly, as jumpsuits require less clothing to create a solid outfit because they’re a one-piece. You end up saving some £££ as there is less shopping to do! And in this current economic climate, this is VERY BENEFICIAL.
Moreover, another reason why jumpsuits are a summer staple is due to their versatility. I love the fact that my navy floral jumpsuit has been designed in a way where it can be dressed up for a more formal event. And equally can be dressed down for a more casual occasion.
Having versatile clothing is wonderful as you can get more use out of your clothes. And in my case, it’s incredibly important as I still shop at fast fashion stores. So having versatile clothing means I buy less from these companies.
And lastly, floral jumpsuits are a summer staple because they’re stunning (especially when designed by the right people). Every year I see several floral jumpsuits that I wish I could buy but unfortunately cannot due to my bank account😭.
So yes, I said it, floral jumpsuits are a summer staple, and I cannot wait to wear the ones I own this summer 2022.
One childhood habit that I refuse to grow out of is watching A LOT of TV shows and films. I mean why should I? Both forms of media are entertaining AF.
With that being said, though I enjoy doing this, I DON’T enjoy the several tropes plus other annoying things I, unfortunately, see on screen.
So in today’s blog post, I’m going to be discussing three film/TV tropes and trends that frankly need to die.
Enemies To Lovers
I hate this trope because, frankly, it’s not executed correctly. Instead of the two characters’ initial issues with each other, be something that can be easily resolved. Writers decide to give us the complete opposite! The beef that the characters have stem from them saying/doing cruel things to each other. This leads to their love story being less believable because of how bad their initial relationship was. Not to mention it’s uncomfortable to watch as it’s too toxic.
Unfortunately, a good example of my point is Bridgerton Series 2. Lord Bridgerton said some awful things to Kate Sharma. In fact in episode 5 (skip to 43:36 mins to see/hear it) he even said that Kate was the bane of his existence! It’s really hard for me to believe you can fall in love with someone after they say such cruel words.
Because violent scenes can be triggering for people (including myself) plus hard to watch. I feel like such scenes should only exist in TV/films where it’s abosulutely necessary as it would add to the plot. And even with that being said these scenes don’t need to be that harsh.
This is definitely a problem when it comes to several horror films/TV shows. They rely too much on violent scenes to scare us, thus making it hard to watch. Moreover, I believe we miss out on getting a good solid plot as all we get is unnecessary violence.
This was the case for All Of Us Are Dead. There were soo many violent actions scenes and unnecessary deaths. Meaning the character development was lacking and there were plot holes. And as All of Us Are Dead is also coming-of-age TV series; this isn’t great as character development plus a strong storyline are key when it comes to this genre.
I’ve also seen a lot of unnecessary violence in regard to the portrayal of Black people in Hollywood. Considering the fact that us Black people don’t get a GOOD amount of fair and accurate representation in Hollywood. Only choosing to show us suffering is cruel and racist.
With that being said, films such as Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse and other MCU films have done a great job of giving us action scenes that weren’t too gory. I’ve never felt like I had to cover my eyes for the majority of each film because it was too much to handle. The same can be said for the K Drama Nobody Knows. That show was interesting but also chilling. And it still didn’t have many violent scenes.
Unfortunately, I’ve watched plenty of romance films where the lead characters have very UNHEALTHY relationships. And this irritates me because such toxic behaviours are romanticised instead of being criticised. Furthermore, it’s not fun to watch because of how negative it is. Moreover, romance films that feature a woman and a man couple generally show the woman putting up with their male partner’s trash behaviour.
The sad thing about this trend is that there are too many examples of this! Sex Education pulled this stunt with Eric and Adam’s relationship. I found them getting together to be disturbing considering the fact Adam bullied Eric. K dramas are infamous for this too! The TV show Nevertheless was sad to watch because Yoo Na-bi and Park Jae-eon’s relationship was a mess! They literally were in a situationship with no boundaries. And though I believe both parties are equally responsible for defining their relationship. In this case, I hold Park Jae-eon to a higher standard as Na-bi was emotionally vulnerable and heartbroken after a cruel experience with her ex.
Overall I’m tired of this type of representation, I want to see healthy relationships depicted on screen. Plus I hate developing second lead syndrome 🙃.
Overall, these tropes and trends need to D I E! They’re toxic and ruin an experience that is supposed to be entertaining and enjoyable.
In February 2022 I decided to join various dating apps for the first time ever. Before this, I had never really dated before. Meaning I’ve never had a romantic partner. Nor have I ever fallen in love. Now there are valid reasons why I’ve put off dating. One of those reasons was having serious insecurities that needed to be worked on.
However, things have changed now. Not only am I in a better state to meet my future bae or baes. But with the way this pandemic has been going, I’ve come to realise life is short. So it’s either now or never.
With that being said, online dating has taught me some important lessons. And in today’s blog post, I’m going to tell you what they are. As these tips may help you.
So with further ado let’s get into it…
Plan That Date ASAP
I feel like the ongoing pandemic has made people tired of talking to others online. And tbh it makes sense! We, humans, are social creatures. We’ve been isolated from our favourite people for too long and crave that in-person connection. And now that restrictions have eased in my country, people are eager to go outside. Not to mention some of us are sexually frustrated because it’s been waaay too long since we’ve had sex.
Therefore I’ve learnt that it’s necessary to set a date ASAP. Or even a phone call/video call if I lack the funds (as going out can be expensive). Because it means I have a better chance of developing a successful relationship.
I’ve had conversations with people I was interested in fizzle out. As neither one of us asked each other out on a date. This honestly sucked because I liked these people. Plus they’re hot. But I’ve learnt my lesson and there’s plenty more fish in the sea.
Asking Important Questions Isn’t That Hard
In all honesty questions such as “What are we?”, “What type of relationship are you looking for?” and even “Have you been tested?” are not hard questions to ask.
Former acquaintances and even certain influencers I used to follow, made out that asking important questions was DIFFICULT to do. But since I started dating, having necessary conversations with potential baes has been easy. And In fact, led to my time not being wasted.
I’m convinced that such people I used to engage with have unhealthy habits to unlearn. Because such questions I mentioned earlier are deal breakers in any romantic or casual relationship. And failing to have these discussions can lead to an unnecessary mess that no one wants.
So, I will continue to ask vital questions when needed because I don’t have the energy for wahala.
I am a Beautiful Woman
As mentioned previously, I put off dating due to having deep insecurities about myself. Especially in terms of my looks. And this makes sense. Because society generally deems people with my physical features as ugly and unworthy of humanity plus respect.
And although colourism, anti-Blackness, texturism and featurism are still ongoing issues. That does influence who we find attractive. I’m now aware that I’m not undesirable to everyone. They’re people out there who recognise my beauty. And have made the first move on the dating apps I’m on.
This has overall boosted my confidence. Because it’s not ONLY up to me to recognise my beauty and self-worth. Other people need to as well. As I don’t only want to have a healthy relationship with myself.
Thank God I Took My Time
I used to feel shame for being a late bloomer; due to my inexperience in relationships at an older age. But since I’ve started dating I feel the complete opposite. I’m actually glad I took my time. Not focusing on dating allowed me to become more emotionally mature. And start my journey in healing past traumas and gaining confidence. I’ve learnt to better communicate with people. As well as the importance of boundaries. Also, I’ve learnt not to be a patriarchal princess. Who would act like a fool and do the absolute most to keep a man 🤮🤢.
Relationships involve real people and real feelings. If I entered one when I was nowhere near ready. Not only would I have caused myself harm, but I would’ve also affected my significant other.
Though dating hasn’t been a perfect experience (as I’m dealing with a group of people who have been somewhat traumatised by this ongoing pandemic 🙄). It still has been a fascinating experience. Plus has taught me some valuable lessons, that I will definitely remember in the future while I look for the one or two or three 😜.
As I am no longer a fan of skinny jeans, and thus have donated the ones I previously owned to charity. I decided to purchase two new pairs of wide-leg jeans, from Shein, to replenish my jean collection.
When I initially bought these jeans I was excited because they looked pretty cool on the website. However, when they finally arrived at my doorstep, my excitement turned into worry as I was finding it difficult to find cute outfits to pair them with.
Now I am to blame for this situation. I should’ve taken the time to see what clothes go perfectly with these jeans before I placed my order. Because what happened next was me barely wearing the jeans for a solid five months 😬.
It was only recently that I had the urge to dedicate an hour to finding fabulous outfits that go perfectly with these jeans. And to my luck, I was able to come up with not three but six outfits for each one! This instantly led me to feel relieved and happy. Because as of now, I don’t own clothes that I don’t wear 😍.
So In conclusion, the moral of the story is to plan before you shop. As it means you won’t end up in my situation. Plus you’ll have a wardrobe full of clothes you actually wear 😁.
Jumper – H&M
Jeans – Shein
Nike Air Force 1
Backpack – Justfab
Black Coat, Black High Neck Jumper, Belt, Backpack – ASOS
2021 was one hell of a year in terms of being a creator. It was the year where I achieved some of my biggest goals. Such as starting a YouTube channel and creating fashion content. Equally, it was also the year where I had to take several breaks as my mental health plummeted.
Though I had numerous highs and lows; one thing that remained consistent is the valuable lessons I learned from being on social media.
So if you want to know what those lessons are keep reading 😁
Comparison Is Not Only The Thief Of Joy But Is Also Pointless
One thing I REFUSE to do this year is to compare myself to other content creators. The main reason for this is that it’s pointless. My skills as a creator are not enhanced by doing this. Nor does it make me feel proud of my art – even though It’s great (not to mention took a good amount of time to create).
I’ve come to realise that we Content Creators/Bloggers are not the same. We don’t all live in the same area, have access to the same resources or have the same marginalised/privileged identities. Which by the way determines the first two factors I mentioned earlier. Therefore, I’ve decided to focus on 🎶Me, myself and I that’s all I got in the end🎶- shout out to Beyoncé for this beautiful lyric😍. But seriously, I’m going to stop with the comparisons, and take the time to focus on improving myself as from then on progress will happen.
You Cannot Control The Algorithm
I am so tired of trying to beat the algorithm😑😒. I give up! I’ve spent a considerable amount of time trying to find cheat codes so I could get more exposure and engagement. And overall all I gained was a lack of energy and disdain for content creation.
Algorithms on social media can be weird. For example, I will produce short videos and post them around the same time only for some to get over 1000 views (which is good for me as I have a small following). While other videos will barely get 200 views! It’s ridiculous!
I’ve come to realise a HUGE factor in becoming viral is luck as there are soo many talented creators, like myself, who are not receiving the recognition we deserve. All in all, there is only so much I can physically do online to get more people to support my content. I can’t do the absolute most to gain views as it comes at the expense of my mental health and my love for blogging.
I Need To Take Myself More Seriously
Up until recently, I have struggled to take Blogging seriously. Mainly because I didn’t see myself as an actual Blogger as it wasn’t my full-time career nor did I have a huge following. This reason plus my poor mental health – which is the result of the pandemic has caused me to be unorganised. As well as produce content that, when I look back on it, wasn’t that good.
With the help of my favourite people, I now know that I am an ACTUAL Blogger regardless of my following and the fact this isn’t a full-time job. It doesn’t make sense to belittle myself because I’m literally doing the same tasks that actual Bloggers do😅. Moreover, the experience I’ve gained from content creation resulted in me being qualified to apply for actual jobs roles. Such as a Social Media Manager. So like I said before belittling myself is foolish.
As we progress into 2022 I aim to be more organised by doing things like making content ahead of important dates/events. As well as focusing on the quality of my art. Because overall I AM a Blogger 😁
F*ck Consistency and Just Rest
The Girls who get it get it and the Girls who don’t don’t 😝
Though the idea of consistently producing high-quality content sounds wonderful. Personally, I can’t do it as your girl sometimes needs a break. A lot of time and effort goes into the art I produce. So doing this on the regular with no time to sit back and relax is a recipe for burnout.
My health comes first. If I’m not well, I cannot continue to do things I enjoy. So to ensure I’m in good shape, physically and mentally, this year I plan to take regular breaks. I’m thinking of treating these breaks like annual leave. Where I schedule a week off to do whatever I want.
In conclusion, I’m glad I’ve learnt these important lessons from 2021. Because now I feel more equipped to flourish in 2022 😊